The Raven And The Lion - A ShIzaya Crack Fic
by TheAnimeAmigos
Summary: Sexual tension, annoying fleas and a sick coworker - can Shizu-chan get Izaya off his mind on his day off? Rated M for non explicit maturbation and future smut.


**Hi guys...Lu here... Ahah *sweat drop* idek what this is. Let's just say that a friend and I were messing around on a word document and we might continue it in future. Either way, enjoy~**

It was that fateful day when..."Iza-yaaaaaaaa! " a huskily deep voice moaned.

Shizu-chan collapsed into his soft duvet as he came down from his orgasm. Thoughts of a certain raven haired nemesis of his still floating through his mind. But how had this unlikely twosome come to be? After all, they had spent many a days in hot pursuits through Ikebukuro out of pure 'hatred'. Ah yes, "hatred" such a fickle and unpredictable word.

Sexual tension – that's what Erika called it. The burning need to break the barrier of such spite and to be with the one you loved.

Could you call it that though? "Love"? The two couldn't even hold a conversation without destroying a couple of buildings...perhaps an overwhelming lust that had been forced down since high school?

Love, lust, or hatred...which was it? The story of how this question was answered began with a rather ill Tom...

/phone rings/

Shizuo Hewajima eyed his ringing cellphone in annoyance as he was about to let himself start to drift off. Who the fuck was calling him on his day off? It better not be that damn flea... he answered anyway, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hello?" He asked bluntly, attempting to hide his fatigue.

"Hey, it's Tom," his debt collecting partner croaked on the other end of the line. "I've come down with a nasty bug. Think you could do a friend a favour?"

"Uh, sure... what do you need, Tom?" Anyone else might not have heard it but Tom could tell he was concerned, even in his current state.

There was a harsh cough followed by, "Shinra put a prescription in for me. Could you pick it up from the chemist-" another cough "-please?"

The blonde may be the toughest guy in Ikebukuro but he isn't stone cold. "Sure thing man, I'll drop by later."

"Thank you." Another coughing fit.

Shizuo winced, he hated sick people. "Whatever, just get some rest." The line went dead with the man's parting words.

Two O'clock, plenty of time for swimming through the crowds of the main centre- regular people scuttling away from work; the disguised secrets that the ordinary can't see and the super natural that had become a spectre in past years: an urban legend one might say.

"Heya Shizuo! What're you doing this fine afternoon?" The former bartender turned to see Erika skipping towards him, followed by Walker who was carrying a suspiciously tall stack of manga. "Oh! I bet you're on your way to see Iza-chan, aren't you?!" The young girl wore a knowing smirk that screamed fujoshi.

Already used to her torments, Shizuo nonchalantly took the stack of comics from Walker and dropped them on top off Erika's head.

"Ow! I knew it! It can only be... A lovers' quarrel!" this time she was picked up by the hood.

"Listen! For your information, I'm on my way to the chemist because Tom is too sick to go for himself! So do me a favour and keep your Damn fantasies to yourself! Me and that flea are anything but lovers!" this attracted a few stares. He cursed himself, that would start more than a few rumours.

The floor, littered by manga, looked incredibly appealing at this moment. So appealing in fact Shizuo would appreciate it if the concrete would open up and swallowed him. Him and the flea whole. This crazy buffoon may have all but ruined his reputation. Him and the flea. The raven and the lion. Not the time for metaphoric comparison. Though, what if the rumours continued? Would he be forced to...to...to actually spend time with the assed-mouthed bastard?

Tch, what the fuck was he thinking? He dropped Erika at Walker's feet. "Keep this thing under control."

Erika huffed and started to help her best friend pick up the scattered manga, "geez, let a fujoshi have her yaoi for once."

Shizuo scoffed and wordlessly started to walk off leaving the pair to clean up his mess.

"Wow, what's his problem? It's just a little yaoi!" The black haired girl protested.

And then, like the wind, Walker hissed under his breathe, "Why did you need yaoi when you have me?" before retreating to the van.

"Huh?!" The young girl shouted, "Walker? What's wrong?!" She quickly darted after him.

"Nothing Erica, absolutely Nada." He turned and began to sort through the scrambled up volume of manga.

The van was currently unoccupied as Dotachin and driver were off running errands.

Erica huffed. "I'm offended that you refuse to tell me, your best friend, what's the mat-!"

"That's the thing! After all we do together, all you'll ever see me as is your friend!" He scoffed, "I don't know why I bother..."

Then it clicked. She pounced. "Walker!~ if that's how you felt, you should've just told me! Man, and I wasted all that time trying to win Anri over..."

"Anri?!"

"Shut it you big oof! You should've told me earlier!" and then she kissed him.

Meanwhile...

"Damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit! Why'd she have to bring him up now of all times?! I have more important things to be focused on!" Shizu-chan stormed the streets, leaving dents in the sidewalk.

He could tell he was nearby. It was like a sixth sense. He wanted nothing more than to go beat his shitty little face in. But he couldn't, he had stuff to do. He could kill the flea later...

 **Don't go judging us, this is from ages ago, I just rediscovered it and thought I'd post it after asking their permission. Let me know if you want us to continue it! (~°3°)~**

 **Bu-bye~**


End file.
